Bullying

     Bullying has been a hot topic and big buzz word lately. Everyone is discussing it and has an opinion. I wish I didn't! I wish it was a subject I never had to think about or know so much about. Why do I? As I have said before, Z has Tourettes Syndrome (as well as F but we have yet to have an issue with her so far). You might be thinking- oh, the swearing thing. Less than 10% of those with TS have this tic called coprolalia. Z's tics are things like quacking like a duck, he will do this wicked laugh, screaming on top of his lungs for a few seconds, his head with move in different ways, and more. Because of this he has been the target of a bully. Thank G-d, we are working with the school now but when your seven/eight year old tells you he wants to die because maybe the bully is right and his life isn't worth living, its heartbreaking. We are blessed to have an amazing team of doctors who have helped us through this rough period and are working with him on moving forward. Unfortunately, in today's world bullying is an issue which we will have to address over and over as kids with TS are targets with a big bull's eye right on them. In my time on TS support boards, the majority of families report bully situations. Last I read kids and teens with TS have a higher rate of attempted suicide than kids who are gay largely due to bullying. Last week I believe an 11 year old boy with TS killed himself due to being bullied.

     What has bothered me in our journey to deal with the bullying issues is how people always focus on the victim- they should have tougher skin, nobody can make you feel bad about yourself so stop giving away the power, well the tics ARE annoying, etc... it always gets turned back on the kid being bullied. Heck, they should stand up for themselves we are told but in the end it only ends up worse with today's no tolerance policies in schools. Either the bully goes under ground and just gets smarter about when they bully or the victim fights back and ends up in trouble. So far, I have yet to see any policies which actually target the real issue- why is this child resorting to being a bully? The vast majority of these kids are screaming for help and don't know any other way. It is NOT a natural state for a child to be a bully despite the fact that our society treats it like it is. Instead of focusing on the child bullied and turning it on them, schools and parents should be saying, why is this child bullying and how can we help them be productive members of our society? The reason is not the same for every bully but what is the same is that they are trying to get people's attention in all the wrong ways.
   
    Today I read in the paper that President Obama is backing our very own senator, Senator Bob Casey Jr. and his Safe Schools Improvement Act. I like where this legislation is going honestly. http://www.casey.senate.gov/newsroom/press/release/?id=9c23683d-5ebe-4459-a205-f86f6a4720a0 "The Safe Schools Improvement Act would require schools and districts receiving designated federal funds to adopt codes of conduct specifically prohibiting bullying and harassment, including conduct based on a student’s actual or perceived race, color, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or religion. The Act would ensure that schools and school districts implement effective prevention programs in order to better prevent and respond to incidences of bullying and harassment and would require that states report data on incidences of bullying and harassment to the Department of Education." Its a good start. At least it is saying, hey, bullying isn't okay and we need to do something about it, we need to work on prevention. I am all for this! It doesn't go far enough though as it leaves many many kids in private and religious private schools without any protection. Senator Casey said, " This bill is a crucial step towards ensuring that no child is so afraid to go to school that he or she stays home for fear of bullying." No child means ALL children in my book. One can not assume just because a child is in a religious school that they will not have to encounter bullying. One can not assume because one pays tuition their child will not have to encounter a bully. They are there and even more so in the public schools they kids need protection under the law.

    Z's birthday was last week. He turned nine. F's birthday is this week. In their honor- call Senator Bob Casey Jr. and ask him to not leave behind millions of children in private or religious private schools to be bullied and unprotected by his legislation. http://www.casey.senate.gov/contact/