Bullying

     Bullying has been a hot topic and big buzz word lately. Everyone is discussing it and has an opinion. I wish I didn't! I wish it was a subject I never had to think about or know so much about. Why do I? As I have said before, Z has Tourettes Syndrome (as well as F but we have yet to have an issue with her so far). You might be thinking- oh, the swearing thing. Less than 10% of those with TS have this tic called coprolalia. Z's tics are things like quacking like a duck, he will do this wicked laugh, screaming on top of his lungs for a few seconds, his head with move in different ways, and more. Because of this he has been the target of a bully. Thank G-d, we are working with the school now but when your seven/eight year old tells you he wants to die because maybe the bully is right and his life isn't worth living, its heartbreaking. We are blessed to have an amazing team of doctors who have helped us through this rough period and are working with him on moving forward. Unfortunately, in today's world bullying is an issue which we will have to address over and over as kids with TS are targets with a big bull's eye right on them. In my time on TS support boards, the majority of families report bully situations. Last I read kids and teens with TS have a higher rate of attempted suicide than kids who are gay largely due to bullying. Last week I believe an 11 year old boy with TS killed himself due to being bullied.

     What has bothered me in our journey to deal with the bullying issues is how people always focus on the victim- they should have tougher skin, nobody can make you feel bad about yourself so stop giving away the power, well the tics ARE annoying, etc... it always gets turned back on the kid being bullied. Heck, they should stand up for themselves we are told but in the end it only ends up worse with today's no tolerance policies in schools. Either the bully goes under ground and just gets smarter about when they bully or the victim fights back and ends up in trouble. So far, I have yet to see any policies which actually target the real issue- why is this child resorting to being a bully? The vast majority of these kids are screaming for help and don't know any other way. It is NOT a natural state for a child to be a bully despite the fact that our society treats it like it is. Instead of focusing on the child bullied and turning it on them, schools and parents should be saying, why is this child bullying and how can we help them be productive members of our society? The reason is not the same for every bully but what is the same is that they are trying to get people's attention in all the wrong ways.
   
    Today I read in the paper that President Obama is backing our very own senator, Senator Bob Casey Jr. and his Safe Schools Improvement Act. I like where this legislation is going honestly. http://www.casey.senate.gov/newsroom/press/release/?id=9c23683d-5ebe-4459-a205-f86f6a4720a0 "The Safe Schools Improvement Act would require schools and districts receiving designated federal funds to adopt codes of conduct specifically prohibiting bullying and harassment, including conduct based on a student’s actual or perceived race, color, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or religion. The Act would ensure that schools and school districts implement effective prevention programs in order to better prevent and respond to incidences of bullying and harassment and would require that states report data on incidences of bullying and harassment to the Department of Education." Its a good start. At least it is saying, hey, bullying isn't okay and we need to do something about it, we need to work on prevention. I am all for this! It doesn't go far enough though as it leaves many many kids in private and religious private schools without any protection. Senator Casey said, " This bill is a crucial step towards ensuring that no child is so afraid to go to school that he or she stays home for fear of bullying." No child means ALL children in my book. One can not assume just because a child is in a religious school that they will not have to encounter bullying. One can not assume because one pays tuition their child will not have to encounter a bully. They are there and even more so in the public schools they kids need protection under the law.

    Z's birthday was last week. He turned nine. F's birthday is this week. In their honor- call Senator Bob Casey Jr. and ask him to not leave behind millions of children in private or religious private schools to be bullied and unprotected by his legislation. http://www.casey.senate.gov/contact/

What a day!

Today is Z's 9th birthday according to the Jewish calendar.  As we celebrate our Jewish birthdays, its been a day of celebration.  The Jewish day starts at sundown.  Last night at dinner since the sun was down Z went around the table and gave us all blessings.  He gave extra tzedaka (charity).  In addition this morning he read his new kapital (chapter of tellhim/psalms) which relates to his age (so psalm 10 he started today since he turned 9 and is starting his 10th year of life). We also did cupcakes and sang happy birthday.

This morning he woke up in a great mood.  We all were.  My mom even called and sang him happy birthday which made his smile so wide.  I even arranged for him to bring cupcakes for his class since we can not make him a big birthday party (catch 22 of the bully situation- birthday parties you have to invite everyone if you are making and there is no way we are inviting the bully so no birthday party).  We had arranged to take two of his friends for dinner but had to do a rain check (this is a lucky thing which you will understand why in a minute) because T got sick.

We never take the kids out.  Between a lack of kosher places to eat, the ones there are usually are expensive, and the kid's food allergies we just don't go out.  A new burger place opened up... at least its new to us since we only heard about it two weeks ago.  http://burgerorg.com/website/  I decided to try and salvage the birthday dinner and see since they do take out, if we could get anything safe for the kids.  With their allergies its almost impossible.  We have only found one other place which is in NY which we could safely eat out.  They were beyond amazing.  So understanding over the phone and answered all my questions.  I took a leap of faith and made an order- Burgers for everyone but the birthday boy who wanted chicken fingers and since he isn't allergic, he got what he wanted!  The person over the phone carefully took down the details needed to make the food safe for the kids.  My lovely husband on his way home headed there to pick up the food and got home right as I was finishing up the kid's french fries (their fries are fried with foods my kids are allergic to fries could not be made for them).

I was already flying high before the burger place agreed to make the kids safe dinners.  I had called an amazing bakery in Brooklyn, NY about arranging for ML a upshernish cake.  An upshernish is when a boy turns 3, we cut their hair for the first time.  This is a very big deal as its the start of their formal Jewish education.  The boys start wearing tzitzis and a yamulka as well.  ML's is in about two months and with his EE trigger list, arranging food for the event I was getting worried about.  We had decided to do it in the evening and do dessert.  I was going to have to do dessert if it was a meal event or not a meal event, so I figured since dessert was going to cost a fortune lets cut out the second fortune which a meal would have cost.  I called Heaven Mills and today they called back saying they could in fact make him a safe cake!!!!!  Also, they will be making some safe cookies in addition to the cake.  YAHOO!!!

So, I am flying high all proud that we could finally have a meal I didn't have to cook.  I am watching them eat and enjoy.  T looks at me and tells me it tastes off.  Well, I knew it wasn't an allergy thing because he told me everything he ate today tasted off.  He has been sick since Tuesday and hasn't kept much down so this didn't throw me.  F is oohing and ahhing with delight.  ML is clapping.  My husband is enjoying his burger on a lettuce wrap since he is gluten free right now.  MEB is giggling and playing with her toes.  The birthday boy looks green.  He got maybe one bite of his chicken fingers.  Oh no- not him!!  I give him his meds and send him off to bed.  Disappointed since I just wanted to make his night great.  As soon as he makes it upstairs he is throwing up.  What a way to end a birthday!  He is now tucked into bed, feverish, and sleeping.  Looks like F is the only one going to school tomorrow.

But hey, we have a new place to eat out for ALL of us and M will have his first cake ever at his upshern!  What a day!

Lists

Just looked over the lists from Passover so I can take notes on what worked, what didn't, and just an overall assessment.

grocery store 

- romain (15)  ended up getting from costco but to much.  Need like 2-3 of the romaine head bags.

-kosher salt

-disposable table cloths

-quinoa (10 boxes)  had just enough.  Need more for next year so we can do pancakes as well.  Huge hit was the popped quinoa on the salads

BJs

3 things of foil pans    Surprisingly only used 1 pack

cups,

forks,

knives,

spoons,

bowls,  ran out of bowls, need 2 next year

plates   ran out of plates on the last day.

BJs/Costco

-avocados (60)

-strawberries (8 pints)

-watermelon (2)   Need 2 big ones, not little ones

-tomatoes (60)   Didn't use them all this year but have in years past

-cucumbers (10)  Had to buy 12 extra in the middle.  Not enough for cuc. salad, Israeli salad, and cut up on romaine salads.

-red peppers (24)  In past years used them all.  Would cut it in half

-pineapples (8)

-zucchini (20)

-potatoes (20lbs)  Ended up getting an extra 10lbs Mashed potatoes never got eaten but they loved my french fries

-onions (20lbs)  Most were rotten.  Not sure if its a bad year or the kind.  The sweet onions were all good though

-bananas (50)  had to get WAY more cause of the yonana machine

-apples (2 bags)  ended up getting 1 bag plus 3 costco packs

-pears (1 bag)

-celery (1 hearts)

-carrots (10lbs)  perfect amount.  Not to much but not to little.  F loved the carrot salad with pineapple and apples.

-sweet potatoes (1 box)  perfect amount 

-sugar (2 bags)  Almost all gone between cooking for us and a friend sugar water.  Also the cotton candy machine ate it up.  Cotton candy machine though was kept out for year round which makes so much more sense.  It took so much time making enough which could have been used for more productive things.  Was fun however.

meat order

-case of chicken bottoms  everyone loved the chicken made with lemon juice, salt, and white wine

-case of boneless skinless chicken breasts  chicken ball soup was a huge hit as was quinoa crusted schnitzel and chicken latkes/nuggets

-case of roast  F loved roast made with white wine and apple sauce

-case of wings  never arrived!

I am sure I am missing something and will remember later.

Seders with these crazy kids!

Seders have become a highlight of the year for us.  The kids go to a Jewish day school so from Purim until Passover they learn so much about Passover and have so many cool insights to share.  This year three of the five are in school, so three huge packs of projects came home Wednesday.  Three awesome hagadas that they worked so hard on, bowls for washing, pillow cases, matzah covers, and afikomen bags.  We might have had a kiddish cup and matzah bag at some point as well from someone.  It just makes the holiday more festive.  In the past years the kids have fought to stay up as their eyes droop in the wee hours of the night.  This year was different though, they were zonked!

The first night F and T made it to the meal.  We ate sometime around 11:30 pm.  Not bad.  Z was out as soon as the four questions were done.  Poor guys meds to help him not tic knock him out. He was able to wake up and have some matzah though he kept falling asleep as he was chewing.   ML passed out on Tatty's chest sometime before the four questions.  It was fun though to hear all the cool things F and T learned.  The second night though, was hilarious.  Z was out before the first cup in his chair sitting up.  Throughout the night though he would open his eyes, give us some insight he learned in school, and go right back to sleep.  Always giving those insights at the right time too.  Was he really asleep?  He was snoring pretty loud.  T made it to the meal.  The last half was cuddled on Tatty's chest sine I scared him with my silly voices.  He wasn't impressed by my hard work cooking though.  When I offered him food he rolled his eyes and said, "eh, no thanks," and headed straight to bed.  ML fell asleep before we started in the living room as we set up the seder plates.  Poor guy didn't have a fighting chance.  F had us rolling on the floor in stitches.  She brought down all her pillows, her blanket, and anything else she needed to make a bed fit for a queen at the table.  She loudly (she has a tic where she has to sing things on top of her lungs) sang the four questions, vehi shehamda, and than built her nest.  When I asked what was going on she said, we are to be kings tonight so I am!  LOL  Okay F!  She spilled her grape juice for the plagues and cuddled in asking us to wake her up for matzah.  Matzah comes and my husband finally got to see what he looks like when I am trying to get him to help with MEB in the middle of the night.  As she is slurring her words, eyes opening and quickly closing, talking but not having a clue what she is saying so the funniest non-sense comes out, we finally give up.  Her clompiramine hangover is to strong!  I almost peed myself I was laughing so hard watching my husband trying to get her to wake up for matzah.  MEB, well she played and played.  She loved the seder.  She kicked and played in her gym thing, giggling the whole night, and nursed on demand.  What a hard life!  She made it through to the end.  Lucky kid though got to nap through shul the next morning.

So, maybe next year they will stay up once again, maybe not.  Either way they provide hours of entertainment.

Our favorites

So, the house is almost done.  Some finishing touches like covering the dining room table are left.  Meat is defrosting to start cooking, sugar is boiled, the kids have started juicing the lemons and oranges, quinoa is all milled so we have quinoa flour.  YAY!  It feels a lot like Pesach! T declared I am Pharoh and he knows how the Jews felt in Egypt as I am a slave master with all the chores I am giving them.

With the kid's food allergies many typical foods we can not do.  We do not do eggs, nuts, fish, dairy, and one can't have potatoes.  I am sure I am missing something but it makes the holiday interesting and we have to think more outside the box.  This is why Pesach is my favorite holiday.  I love having to dream up fun and different recipes.  I love seeing the kid's faces light up as they declare me the top chef of our home when a new recipe works well.

A few of our favorites-
Chicken nuggets:
boneless skinless chicken breasts
red pepper
onion
carrot
quinoa flour or potato starch
shmultz or oil

grind the chicken in the food processor.  Peel the veg and throw it into the food processor to grind it up.  Mix with chicken.  Heat some shmultz or oil in a skillet,  Form patties chicken nugget size and coat with quinoa flour or potato starch.  Cook in skillet.

Chicken ball soup:
In soup pot throw peeled zucchini, sweet potato, carrots, celery, onion, salt, and water in.  Take ground chicken and combine with either grated potato or in our case now sweet potato and zucchini.  Form balls like you would matzah balls and throw them into the pot.  Cook until it smells and tastes like heaven.

Stuffed peppers:
1 batch tomato sauce
1 zucchini
peppers
ground beef
quinoa
onion

Grate onion and zucchini.  Mix ground beef, quinoa (cooked), and grated veggies.  Stuff peppers and put in a pan.  Top with tomato sauce and bake covered 350 until cooked through.  You can stuff eggplants or zucchini the same way.

Tomato sauce:
a handful of tomatoes
2-3 onions depending on how big they are
white wine
salt to taste

Chop onions and saute till clear.  Add in tomatoes cut into quarters.  Add white wine so its about 2ish inches on the bottom.  Cover and let cook for 45 mins.  Uncover and blend with either the immersion blender or food processor.  Add salt to taste.  If it has a slight alcoholic taste still cook a bit longer.

Eggplant salad:
onion
tomato
eggplant

Chop onions, tomatoes, and eggplants.  Saute the onion until clear and add in eggplant.  When the eggplant is almost cooked through add the tomatoes.  Let it stew a bit.  We serve it with salads and on the 8th day when we allow our matzah to get wet eat it shmeared on matzah.  Otherwise its really yummy with the chicken nuggets from above or burgers.

A Chag Kosher v'Sameach!

Oh wait, we have to clean that too?!

So, the kid's rooms were clean.  At least they are chumatz free now.  I am not going to fight the lego city that has invaded the boy's floor or the classroom set up in the girl's room.  The hallway is done.  My bedroom- yeah, in what universe will it be finished ever?  Bathroom is chumatz free and will be cleaned to be clean by my husband at some point before Passover.  Upstairs- check!  Downstairs the kitchen has been turned over, aka it has been turned into a space ship.  You know those big rolls of foil from costco/BJs?  Yeah, I used a whole one to cover my kitchen.  Hey, at least for once its bright enough to see what I am cutting since the light is reflecting on all that foil.  I got out my new toys today.  Each year I get one new thing to add to my passover kitchen stuff.  This year since I got great deals over at Amazon and I have a prime account so free shipping, I got two!  My sister in law convinced me we must have a Yonana machine.  Its this machine that takes a frozen banana and whatever else you want and makes it the consistency of soft-serve ice cream!  This thing was made for us since we are egg free (T and F are deadly allergic to eggs and ML is as well egg free) in the house and the kids always have been jealous of their friends having ice cream on Passover.  YAHOO! My other toy I have been eyeing for years.  A cotton candy machine!  The kids can't wait.  It will be a real treat for them.  We even stocked up on a mega bag of sugar from BJs tonight.  My wonderful husband as I type is on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor.  That pesky broken foot of mine, not so easy to scrub on the hands and knees.  Doctor's orders that he take over that chore.  The living room besides for the mountains of laundry which I will never finish folding is almost done.  Maybe another hour of my time tomorrow.  I sat down tonight feeling so accomplished.  Passover isn't until Friday, I won't be cooking until Thursday night since I have the cooking down to a T.  It all of a sudden hit me- the dining room!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Can I run and take cover??  I have to clean that too?  The bookshelves alone take me 4-5 hours.  Each book taken out, checked for chumatz hiding inside, and wiped down.  Of course, where else have we been putting things as we are not sure what to do with them?  The dining room of course.  Can I just foil over the whole room and sell it?  We can eat picnic style.  Oh well.  We can do it!  Together as a family as F always says, we can do anything.  We are in the home stretch.