Raising a balanced kid

So, it hit me like a load of bricks this morning.  I am never going to get the Pesach cleaning done without killing myself without the help of my family.  I have been trying to get the kids involved but they have so little time.  Sundays now they have little league so its just Sunday afternoons and during the school week not only are they bogged down with homework but I am so nothing gets done weekday afternoons.  Between my broken foot, sprained ankle, ear infection, and sinus infection I am a mess.  Normally at this point my kitchen is turned over and my house is 90% done and rid of chumatz.  (FYI- that doesn't mean its shining and spotless, it means I am 90% ridding it of chumatz.  My house will always looked well lived in.)

I spend a large percentage of our financial resources paying tuition for my kids to get a Jewish education.  I love how they come home able to give over the parsha and tell me all different kinds of halacha.  HOWEVER and as you can see its a big however, they need to learn how to live as a Jew as well.  Judaism is a living religion, not just a book thing.  My kids need a good hard lesson in this.  Woman in general seem to get the brunt of Pesach cleaning and the reality is, we aren't the only ones who are getting this chumatz everywhere.  The whole family contributes and to make Pesach work the whole family needs to be contributing to preparing for Pesach.  Seder night shouldn't be mommy falling on her face while everyone else has a moving seder.  If everyone pitches in, this won't happen.  Instead of cutting down on the Pesach cleaning, how about everyone contributes instead?

I have issues with homework in general but I am not going to get into that.  I can leave it for another time when I am ready to throw their backpacks through a window.  Two weeks before Pesach though, their teachers should get it.  They should be encouraging hands on learning.  Each teacher should be assigning the children to help their parents Pesach clean for the allotted time homework is supposed to be taking place (in our case we are supposed to cut them off after 45 mins.).  Homework is supposed to give the kids an extension between the classroom and home.  This is a lesson they will always remember.

So, since my kid's teachers aren't doing this, I am taking matters into my own hands.  I am telling them to put down the homework and its time to learn how to prepare for Pesach.  I will be lining them up and handing out assignments.  They can have their normal 20 mins to snack and breath.  Once its up the chumatz clothes are going on, school clothing is off, and the Maccabeats will be cranked up as loud as my head can tolerate so that we can get busy (love the new CD that came out yesterday!).  My future daughter in laws will thank me one day and my daughters will know that they don't have to be a slave to make Pesach, that its a family effort.  Yeah, their regular homework won't get done for a week.  I think they will get a whole lot more in the long run from this little experiment.

I will do what I do!

My kid's kindergarten teacher, the famous Morah Miriam has a phrase she uses with the kids- "You get what you get and you don't get upset."  Its been a mantra in our house since the first time Z said it three years ago.  You don't like dinner, well, you get what you get.  You don't like the present you got, well, you get what you get.  You get the drift.  Its been such a lifesaver for me.  No more full on temper tantrums.  It stops them in their tracks. I still owe Morah Miriam a huge thank you for this one.

Well tonight a whole new chapter in the book of this phrase was opened.  F was eating what I had made for dinner.  Her favorite pasta and meatballs.  She calls them dirty noodles and meatballs :)  She left the table and I asked her if she was done with dinner cause if she was not she needs to come back right now.  She screams this can't be dinner, the sun is not asleep.  Kicking myself under the table with the whole night is when the sun sleeps shtick way back when.  I told her sorry but its 7pm.  Its almost bedtime so finish up.  She stomped her feet loudly and screams, "I will do what I will do and won't get upset!!!!"  Out she stomped, slamming her door behind her.  Um, 5 going on 16?

What an afternoon!

What an afternoon.  The kids came home and it was like a hurricane had hit.  Backpacks thrown at me to check and kids running everywhere trying to find the right toy that would occupy their afternoon.  While checking T's backpack since he has the most homework these days I hear screaming.  Oh no- here we go again.  Z said something to F and F is raging.  Lovely.  That nice clean pile of laundry that is folded but not put in it's rightful place is now flying.  Cubby contents are making their way to the floor.  Z is running as F is about to bite.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  Can I run too?  T starts whining cause he has no interest in doing his homework when nobody else has any.  Not to mention my foot is in a cast so I am not going anywhere quickly and my other foot is rocking MEB in her carseat as the big kids are waking her from her nap. In the loudest voice I can to get attention I yell UPSTAIRS!  They all know what this means.  Time outs in their own rooms.  F is not done raging though but Z heads up with a book.  At the same moment the phone rings- a call I have been waiting all day for to order Z's afikomen present.    I answer the call while F finishes her rage.  As quickly as it started its over.  F is worn out and goes to her room to lay down and take that time out.

Quiet!

Z is reading for his book report, T is doing Chumash and writing a story about his teacher's dog visiting his class, F is laying down, ML is watching Uncle Moishy, and MEB is FINALLY sleeping.

I get started on the long list of people to call for the shul about the community seder and ordering matzah.  Kids are warned, if I am on the phone silence.  They got hungry for a snack.  Whats this?  They are working together?!  Pulling out jam and challah.  WOW!  Even made sure ML had his gluten free challah and his jam bottle.  Are these the same kids from 10 minutes ago??  As a reward for letting me get half the calls made on the list I let them have a picnic dinner which I prepared in between calls.  Meds, showers, PJs, bedtime!

I can't believe its only been 3 hours.  Off to finish those calls before 9:30 when I no longer am allowed to call people according to the Rabbi.  Hope they have a good turn out!

Passover cleaning

I tried to be on top of things this year.  With only ML and MEB home during the day I figured, finally I can really do the Passover cleaning like I like it to be done.  Boy oh boy am I wrong.

I put a list on the fridge.  All the different jobs the kids could possibly do organized by room.  Next to them was a number of points- the amount of points they would earn by doing the job.  For every twenty points they would get a dollar.  So for example cleaning up their floor was 6 points while mopping it was 4.  F was excited.  She finished her whole entire room the first day.  She loves things orderly and clean- thank you OCD!  Her room is officially the only one kosher for Passover right now.  T was excited until he realized he actually had to do something- G-d forbid he work at all.  Z on the other hand due to his OCD needs organized chaos. As I clean he is behind me putting things back from where I had just cleaned it from.  He gets home from school and undoes everything I have just done.  There goes my awesome Passover cleaning job!  

I guess I will go back to my old method- turn over the kitchen and everything else will fall into place.  At least if the kitchen is turned over we can eat.  If we can eat, everything else will be okay.

Welcome

People have told me to blog for a long time and I always blew them off.  Whats so interesting about my life?  I still am not sure but I wouldn't mind a place I can share the good, bad, frustrating, and exciting in our lives.

A bit about me.  We are BT orthodox Jews living in suburban America.  We have KA"H 5 kids and have been married almost 10 years.  Z our oldest is 8 almost 9, T is 7.5, F is 5 almost 6, ML is 2.5, and MEB is almost 3 months old.  Z and F both have Tourettes Syndrome and OCD.  Z in addition has severe anxiety and ADHD. T, F, ML, and MEB have true IgE mediated food allergies.  Deadly allergies. Z has outgrown his.  B"H!!! What are they allergic to?  Better question- what aren't they allergic to?  In addition ML has eosinophilic esophagitis.  His triggers are the top 8 (fish, eggs, nuts, wheat, shellfish, dairy, peanuts, and tree nuts), barley, sesame, and white potato.  T as well is lactose intolerant.  I am at home with these little crazies having the time of my life.  I spend my time getting creative with our diets, managing their medical issues, and try to make life a little more fun for them.

So, here I go!

Sara